on writer's block

"Wet sand is the color of good heroin."
- A deceased veteran of current wars

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom the emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead —his eyes are closed. The insight into the mystery of life, coupled though it be with fear, has also given rise to religion. To know what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms—this knowledge, this feeling is at the center of true religiousness.”

- Albert Einstein

on stand-up comedy

"You pray that they like you."
- Woody Allen

Image source here.

routine

"I write seven days per week, even if it's only one or two hours per day; writing is a way of living."
- Mario Vargas Losa

Image source here.

"Failure is the road to being a great comic."
- Louis C.K.

"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."
- Mark Twain

"Simple is the most sophisticated thing of all."
- Ina Garten

Image source here.

wild and crazy guy

"My idea of a good night out is to stay at home."
- Steve Martin